Most of us manage to be monogamous, most of the time. But most of us also know that adultery is the 'crime' we could imagine ourselves committing. But does being 'faithful' mean the same to everyone? Why DO people have affairs? Using real-life testimony from those who have 'cheated' and those who have been cheated on, alongside the most up to date research, this book looks at the big questions around love and commitment. Kate Figes shows how in our progressive times monogamy has become the new ideal. Absolute fidelity in sexual love, above all, now stands as the primary symbol of commitment. But that has created new problems: increasing the allure of the affair, exacerbating the need for deceit; making trust harder; and highlighting the shame and the wounds of betrayal. This book lifts the taboos, asks the tough questions, suggests that we can survive an affair and that it can lead to a better understanding of ourselves and our relationships. Monogamy is possible and many couples manage it either throughout their relationship or for long periods of time. But for the countless others a more honest and humane public debate around the subject of infidelity is essential . Our Cheating Hearts, by the author known and respected for charting the emotional territory of relationships, is that book.

These days, many of us enjoy unrivalled freedom and equality when it comes to choosing and building a relationship. Yet new myths about how to live and love compromise that happiness. Kate Figes argues that, whether married or cohabiting, gay or straight, remarried or a couple living apart, the quality of our intimate relationship is fundamental to our long-term health and happiness, because our need for commitment and love hasn't changed. This is not a handbook. There are no easy 'Mars and Venus' universal recipes for success, because relationships are far too complicated, individual and important for easy answers. But learning how others sustain lifelong love, and what really goes on in other people's lives can help us to understand our own partnerships and take responsibility for making them work. Couples is an incisive and important look at how we can learn to make love endure.