Judith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children’s books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day ; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses ; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother’s Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year. When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices brings together the best of Judith Viorst's witty, insightful poetry, including many favorites from out-of-print collections. Whether she's finding herself or finding a sitter, or contemplating her sex life as she rubs the hormone night cream on her face, Viorst explores the true and funny ironies all women encounter growing up in the modern world. Here is a young single girl from Irvington, NJ, leaving her parents' home for life in the big city ("No I do not believe in free love/And yes I will be home for Sunday dinners," she promises). Here is the aspiring bohemian with an expensive liberal arts education, getting coffee and taking dictation, "Hoping that someday someone will be impressed/With all I know." Here is that married woman, coping with motherhood ("The tricycles are cluttering my foyer/The Pop Tart crumbs are sprinkled on my soul") and fantasy affairs ("I could imagine cryptic conversations, clandestine martinis...and me explaining that long kisses clog my sinuses") and all-too-real family reunions ("Four aunts in pain taking pills/One cousin in analysis taking notes"). And here she is at mid-life, wondering whether a woman who used to wear a "Ban the Bomb" button can find happiness being a person with a set of fondue forks, a fish poacher, and a wok. Every step of the way, Viorst transforms the familiar events of daily life into poems that make you laugh with recognition. When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices demonstrates once and for all that no one understands American women coming of age like Judith Viorst.

In a series of funny, touching, unabashed and uninhibited vignettes, Levenson--aided and abetted by the incomparable Whitney Darrow, Jr.--quotes the lovely, innocent logic of little people as they express their views of the big people's world. (dust cover).

"Covering table manners, car manners, playground manners, school manners, and more, this is a book that is sure to delight (and horrify) adults and children of all ages"--

This book is a comical romp through the joys of womanhood. It's great to be a woman . . . most of the time. Lisa Birnbach, Ann Hodgman, and Patty Marx have come up with 1,003 hilarious reasons why it's great all of the time. Pantyhose, high heels, lipstick, maxi pads, chocolate-all things feminine are covered. These three witty and wise women have delivered yet another hysterical list of 1,003 great things. Each writer has a unique (and much appreciated) take on being a modern-day woman. After all, today's females need to be tough, talented multitaskers with an amazing sense of humor-and that's just to compete with the males in grade school! The trio empathizes humorously with women's universal struggles and triumphs: * Hair talk is the international language. * You and the children go first in the lifeboat. * You can cry your way out of a speeding ticket. * Oh, the joy of a shoe sale! * The gender that brought you Girl Scout cookies. * Women are tougher than men. Proof: bikini waxes. * Women have a better instinctive sense of how to bag items in the supermarket. * When we get that tone in our voice, you'd better listen up. * Nothing wrong with us that a Frappuccino can't fix. * Without ever having been there first, we know our way around every Target, Wal-Mart, Kohl's, and Kmart. You'll laugh out loud at these outrageously funny stands on the sisterhood of femininity. 1003 Great Things About Being a Woman is the gift book every woman must own!

In You Never Call, You Never Write, Joyce Antler provides an illuminating and often amusing history of one of the best-known figures in popular culture--the Jewish Mother. Whether drawn as self-sacrificing or manipulative, in countless films, novels, radio and television programs, stand-up comedy, and psychological and historical studies, she appears as a colossal figure, intensely involved in the lives of her children. Antler traces the odyssey of this compelling personality through decades of American culture. She reminds us of a time when Jewish mothers were admired for their tenacity and nurturance, as in the early twentieth-century image of the "Yiddishe Mama," a sentimental figure popularized by entertainers such as George Jessel, Al Jolson, and Sophie Tucker, and especially by Gertrude Berg, whose amazingly successful "Molly Goldberg" ruled American radio and television for over 25 years. Antler explains the transformation of this Jewish Mother into a "brassy-voiced, smothering, and shrewish" scourge (in Irving Howe's words), detailing many variations on this negative theme, from Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint and Woody Allen's Oedipus Wrecks to television shows such as "The Nanny," "Seinfeld," and "Will and Grace." But she also uncovers a new counter-narrative, leading feminist scholars and stand-up comediennes to see the Jewish Mother in positive terms. Continually revised and reinvented, the Jewish Mother becomes in Antler's expert hands a unique lens with which to examine vital concerns of American Jews and the culture at large. A joy to read, You Never Call, You Never Write will delight anyone who has ever known or been nurtured by a "Jewish Mother," and it will be a special source of insight for modern parents. As Antler suggests, in many ways "we are all Jewish Mothers" today.

In You Never Call, You Never Write, Joyce Antler provides an illuminating and often amusing history of one of the best-known figures in popular culture--the Jewish Mother. Whether drawn as self-sacrificing or manipulative, in countless films, novels, radio and television programs, stand-up comedy, and psychological and historical studies, she appears as a colossal figure, intensely involved in the lives of her children.Antler traces the odyssey of this compelling personality through decades of American culture. She reminds us of a time when Jewish mothers were admired for their tenacity and nurturance, as in the early twentieth-century image of the "Yiddishe Mama," a sentimental figure popularized by entertainers such as George Jessel, Al Jolson, and Sophie Tucker, and especially by Gertrude Berg, whose amazingly successful "Molly Goldberg" ruled American radio and television for over 25 years. Antler explains the transformation of this Jewish Mother into a "brassy-voiced, smothering, and shrewish" scourge (in Irving Howe's words), detailing many variations on this negative theme, from Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint and Woody Allen's Oedipus Wrecks to television shows such as "The Nanny," "Seinfeld," and "Will and Grace." But she also uncovers a new counter-narrative, leading feminist scholars and stand-up comediennes to see the Jewish Mother in positive terms. Continually revised and reinvented, the Jewish Mother becomes in Antler's expert hands a unique lens with which to examine vital concerns of American Jews and the culture at large.A joy to read, You Never Call, You Never Write will delight anyone who has ever known or been nurtured by a "Jewish Mother," and it will be a special source of insight for modern parents. As Antler suggests, in many ways "we are all Jewish Mothers" today.

With over 120 drawings that poke fun at Boomer parenthood, children, spouses, pets, pseudo-pets, and grandparents, Koren illustrates some pithy, provocative questions that will have you rolling with laughter.

Calvin Trillin uses his wit and humour to enlighten readers with his intimacies as a father and husband in his poignantly funny nonfiction novel Family man. Trillin touches every subject under his family's sky, beginning with some child-rearing advice: "Try to get one that doesn't spit up. Otherwise, you're on your own." On children he simple states: "Your children are either the center of your life or they're not." His charming ruminations on fatherhood clearly prove that he has reveled in the role of father - writing songs for family movie musicals.

Eve wants nothing more than a PictureFace Lizzy, the most popular doll on the market, but when she finally gets one, she realizes that true fulfillment comes from friends and family.

Cleverly Comical Animal Jokes is designed for readers 8-11 years young, who love animals and humor. Inside its pages are more than 500 animal jokes that are guaranteed to make readers howl, twitter, yip, and yelp with lots of laughter. Everybody loves animal jokes: Duck jokes quack you up. Porcupine jokes are to-the-point. Elephant jokes are worth the weight. Skunk jokes are real stinkers, and kangaroo jokes are best by leaps and bounds The co-authors, Richard Lederer and Jim Ertner, have both been elected International Punster of the Year, and Jim McLean’s delightful illustrations add to the fun.

Rip Roaring Animal Jokes is designed for readers 8-11 years young, who love animals and humor. Inside its pages are more than 500 animal jokes that are guaranteed to make readers howl, twitter, yip, and yelp with lots of laughter. Everybody loves animal jokes: Duck jokes quack you up. Porcupine jokes are to-the-point. Elephant jokes are worth the weight. Skunk jokes are real stinkers, and kangaroo jokes are best by leaps and bounds. The co-authors, Richard Lederer and Jim Ertner, have both been elected International Punster of the Year, and Jim McLean’s delightful illustrations add to the fun.

The Biggest And Silliest Collection Of Side-Splitting Classic Jewish Jokes! *Money & Business * Law & Order * Food & Dining * *Parenting & Children *Education * The Pulpit * Travel The Funniest Jewish Joke Book Ever… The laughter will never stop with this ONCE-IN-A- LIFETIME collection of the side-splitting family-friendly humor, from the brilliant humorist Arnold Fine of The Jewish Press. Arnie's classic Jewish jokes, one-liners, and humorous observations will leave you - and everyone else - ROLLING ON THE FLOOR!

Humorist Amy Krouse Rosenthal's hilarious and nail-on-the-head writing has struck again. Her latest book, The Same Phrase Describes My Marriage and My Breasts, spotlights the lighter side of parenting with a sharp wit reminiscent of the late Erma Bombeck, but with a modern twist. Rosenthal reassures parents that the insanity that comes with raising a child is perfectly normal. It is a delightful book for any parent who has realized that stain-free baby clothes and perfectly behaved children only exist on commercials for Kodak and Downy. Rosenthal's endearing collection of humorous anecdotes and reflections is drawn from her illuminating first years as a mother of three. Being a pregnant working mom means occasionally having a urine specimen hidden in your briefcase for your mid-day checkup. No matter how anal you get, no matter how methodically you put away the toys, the Candyland cards end up in the Lego bin, and Lion King puzzle pieces turn up in your shoes. Daylight savings means that on one Sunday, when it's 7:30 A.M., you still have something like 80 more hours until they go to bed. Forget the instructions of Dr. Spock and open your heart to a woman who proudly survives life with three kids-granted not a single glass from her bridal registry remains intact-and relishes being a mom. At times touching, at other times hysterical, The Same Phrase Describes My Marriage and My Breasts is a must for parents who long ago realized that parenting is just like The Brady Bunch if you eliminate the neatly-wrapped solutions and toss in complete unpredictability and random vomiting.

Hilarious Holiday Humor features sidesplitting jokes and zany cartoons about all our major holidays, including Easter, Independence Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Each chapter begins with a fascinating story about where the holiday comes from, making this book a fun way of understanding our modern-day celebrations.

Celebrating one of children's favorite forms of comedy, this series offers a wide array of animal-inspired amusement. Each book begins with a dictionary of jokes and riddles, highlighting dozens of different species in alphabetical order. The second part is arranged by classic clusters such as knock-knock jokes, rhymes, "daffynitions," and even jokes overheard in restaurants. From aardvarks and baboons to yaks and zebras, these entertaining compilations are also accompanied by a variety of engaging and humorous illustrations.

Celebrating one of children's favorite forms of comedy, this series offers a wide array of animal-inspired amusement. Each book begins with a dictionary of jokes and riddles, highlighting dozens of different species in alphabetical order. The second part is arranged by classic clusters such as knock-knock jokes, rhymes, "daffynitions," and even jokes overheard in restaurants. From aardvarks and baboons to yaks and zebras, these entertaining compilations are also accompanied by a variety of engaging and humorous illustrations.

Edited by his children, Giles and Victoria, Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks is an anthology of humorous writing from the former editor of Punch and Radio 4 national treasure Alan Coren, who died in October 2007. In a prolific forty-year career Alan Coren wrote for The Times , Observer, Tatler , Daily Mail , Mail on Sunday, Listener , Punch and the New Yorker , and published over 20 books including The Sanity Inspector, Golfing for Cats and The Collected Bulletins of Idi Amin (he turned down an invitation from Amin to visit Uganda saying, 'I'll probably end up as a sandwich'). Even twenty years ago he estimated that he had published six million words, or ten copies of War and Peace . Coren was one of Britain's most prolific and now much-missed humourists, finding the comedy of life all around him and rendering it, hilariously and compellingly, in polished and witty prose which will be eagerly devoured by his loyal fanbase.

Whether you're a savvy mom of teens or a new mom trying to get baby to sleep, this book is for you. A must read for every mom who ever said: "Stop rocking on the chair!" Not your average poetry book, Ode to Chores is a clever and entertaining view of parenting, motherhood, children, pets, and the life and times of moms on call 24/7. ------------------ The Inspiration For This Book The whole thing started because I was lonely. I spent hours every day with my little kids, which I really loved for a while, but my husband was gone A LOT, and when he came home, he was all talked out. He just wanted to spend a little time with his two boys roughhousing and eating Oreo Thins. Plans with friends were few and far between because we were all busy shuffling kids to school and activities when we weren't working jobs, or doing house projects, or stumping for our chosen elected officials, or reconnecting with our significant others. In the meantime, exhausted at the end of every day, I still wanted to be an artist, a writer, and a musician. I'd been on stage for 25 years and suddenly the only singing I was doing was lullabies at 3 AM in a rocking chair trying to get my little muffin to sleep. . . just for a little while. . . sleep muffin, sleep. Somewhere along the way, I put down my pen and found myself deep in the stuff of kids. Then, one evening after an especially frustrating dinner with the boys, I sent everyone off to their rooms, flipped over an envelope lying in the mess on the dining room table, and wrote the poem Stop Rocking on the Chair. I was surprised at how satisfying it was to say it on the page. From there I started writing these "mom poems" all the time. As I did, I felt less and less alone. I was not only writing about my experience but a thread of experience that connected to moms all over the world and through time. The common language of motherhood reconnected me to my creativity and other people at the same time. I first thought I wrote this book for myself, but it turns out I wrote this book for you. I hope it brings you joy and even makes you cry. I hope it brings mothers together and inspires you to make some art and put it out into the world, so we can all have a moment of connection together. Call me. We'll have coffee. ------------------ About the Author Brenda Kahn is a poet, memoirist and an international recording artist who has shared the stage with Bob Dylan, David Byrne, and Jeff Buckley. She has expertise in changing both guitar strings and diapers. She is a writer of songs, poetry, memoir, and excuse notes for sick kids. She can paint and spackle like nobody's business and will also perform a cover of Bessie Smith's Ain't Nobody's Business if you request it at a live show. She lives in South Salem, NY with her husband and two boys, her golden retriever (Barley Patches), her two cats (Fluffy and Colby) and Ekko the crested gecko. Learn more about Bren at www.brendakahn.com Stay connected and support her work at www.BrendaKahn.com/Patreon

Entries in McBroom's almanac include farm tips, how-to's, McProverbs, nature lore, cartoons, and McBroom's Calendar of Important Dates.

The Rotten School students try to get rid of Mr. Skruloose, an extremely strict teacher.