The ""chances grow smaller every year that you will die in childbirth"" is only one of many amusing reasons why people should look on the bright side of getting older in this amusing book about aging and the later years in one's life. Original. 60,000 first printing."

Laugh till you cry in this new collection of stories from the award-winning "Serena Williams of humor writing" ( New York Times Book Review ) about raising babies and trying not to be one. Called a "comedic Godsend" by Conan O'Brien and "the Stephen King of comedy writing" by John Mulaney, Simon Rich is back with New Teeth, his funniest and most personal collection yet. Two murderous pirates find a child stowaway on board and attempt to balance pillaging with co-parenting. A woman raised by wolves prepares for her parents' annual Thanksgiving visit. An aging mutant superhero is forced to learn humility when the mayor kicks him upstairs to a desk job. And in the hard-boiled caper "The Big Nap," a weary two-year-old detective struggles to make sense of "a world gone mad." Equal parts silly and sincere, New Teeth is an ode to growing up, growing older, and what it means to make a family.

While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It , she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."-- O, The Oprah Magazine

There's No Such Thing As Over The Hill, Because The Hill Has Been Moved!In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any--and every--age. Filled with the latest information as well as entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don't Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex.Here is Joan Rivers's own unique take on aging: IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five. At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short. Eat all you want, just don't swallow it. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away--unless he happens to be in the hay with you. Take it from Joan Rivers--you've got a lot of living left to do!

The notorious baby boomers are approaching the end and starting to plan their final moves in the game of life. 'What was that all about?' they're asking. 'Was it about acquiring things or changing the world? Was it about keeping all your marbles? Or is the only thing that counts after you're gone the reputation you leave behind?' In Old Age: a beginner's guide, Michael Kinsley answers the questions we are all forced to confront sooner or later.

Throughout her career, Judith Viorst has written numerous books reflecting on life as she ages. Now in her nineties, she shares her experiences in life's "final fifth" in this collection of poetry and essays. On her retirement community, she notes that it is "wonderful, marvelous, swell--good as gold. Except for this one little problem: everyone's old." On her late husband (who died of COVID-19 in 2022), she pleads: "I need you fixing our damn circuit breakers. I need you! Could you please stop being dead?" With humor and vulnerability, Viorst invites readers to dance with her between grief and levity and to enjoy the time we have left to share.

Best-selling author Richard Lederer shares, in 14-point type, his wit and wisdom and information and inspiration about the incredible journey of aging. The touching stories, fascinating facts, and rollicking humor will lift your spirit, stimulate your mind, and tickle your funny bone. Jim McLean’s sprightly illustrations help bring The Gift of Age to vibrant life.

The author of The Lonely Guy's Book of Life offers a survival guide for the midlife male, addressing virtually all of his concerns and offering outrageous suggestions on everything from sexual performance anxiety to memory lapses to cars. 35,000 first printing.

Tired of trying to be confident, positive, and spiritually centered? Now the real you can shine through! You can be happy, productive, and well adjusted while remaining as neurotic as ever. That's the premise of The Happy Neurotic: How Fear and Angst Can Lead To Happiness And Success! by counselor and stand-up comic David Granirer. Granirer states, "Many self-help books promise us wealth, perfect health, and even to reverse the aging process if only we love ourselves, say positive affirmations, and eliminate all negativity. But most of us aren't getting any richer, healthier or younger, and we're starting to feel like idiots as we go around chanting, 'I am a perfect being of love and light' while cutting people off in traffic. Negative emotions are not only impossible to eradicate, they are also keys to our happiness and success." Instead of wasting time and money on futile attempts to become totally confident and relentlessly positive, Granirer's readers learn how to achieve the common sense and attainable reality of the Happy Neurotic - someone who uses negative emotions to create happiness and success and has a sense of humor about it all. The book even includes a special chapter teaching readers how to use humor as a powerful tool for accepting and even celebrating their dysfunctions. According to Granirer, "Everyone is dysfunctional to some degree. This book helps readers make their dysfunctions work for them." This funny and highly irreverent book also challenges many popular New Age teachings. Readers learn why they shouldn't trust the universe, why programming themselves for success often doesn't work, and about negative, fear-driven people who live charmed lives. Counsellor and stand-up comic David Granirer's work teaching comedy to people with mental illness as a way of building confidence and fighting public stigma has been featured by media across North America. He also helps hundreds of organizations use humor to cope with stress and adversity. Granirer lives in Vancouver, Canada. Book jacket.

"From the co-creator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a laugh-out-loud collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more, making this the perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it's dealing with doctors, dating in one's seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That's why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher"--

On September 11, 2001, veteran comedian David Brenner was in the midst of a 48-week stand-up gig in Las Vegas. Immediately after that day, he cancelled the engagement and instructed his manager to book him on a nationwide tour. He called it the "Laughter to the People" tour, and on it he shared his humor with a grieving nation. Audience response was overwhelming. In this book, Brenner draws on highlights from his stand-up material to show how humor can give us the power to transcend personal and world problems from the unavoidable, like aging, to the uncontrollable, like war. The essays in the book cover a wide range of issues, including fear of flying, aging, marriage and divorce, pets, politics, terrorism, and religion.

""Acclaimed author and feisty nonagenarian Hotchner's witty ruminations about the art of living well into old age...with brio and a touch of his trademark sass, Hotchner writes about rediscovering love after 75, finding joy in a scrappy African gray parrot he named after his longtime friend, Ernest Hemingway, and going on his very first safari at age 88." - Kirkus Reviews When youngsters in their seventies and eighties, nervously lurching toward the horizon of ninety, ask me, "What's the secret?" That's what I tell them: "O.J. in the morning, gin and tonic at night." You don't have to be in your seventies or eighties to enjoy A. E. Hotchner's elixir for aging happily, but after reading this charming collection of essays, you may wish you were. Nonagenarian, novelist, playwright, and biographer, Hotchner gives us heartfelt and laugh-out-loud anecdotes that describe his unique reflections on the aging process. His musings cover everything from the outlandish commercials that target the older generation (Viagra, Cialis, and Flomax) to suggestions on adapting the tennis game for seniors (he suggests lowering the net by two inches and moving all outer lines two feet inward) to the advantages of having a pet (his pet parrot often tells guests to "kiss my ass"). He can equally capture the headier side of aging, which is bittersweetly revealed in his piece about divorce. With his disarming, eloquent voice and dry sense of humor, Hotch illuminates life's wisdoms through his optimistic, witty, and romantic outlook, all the while maing you feel, well, not unhappy about growing older. O.J. in the Morning, G&T at Night is a book of courageous advice, humorous wisdom, and, above all, good strategies for how to stay young at heart"--

" "I believe Freud got it wrong when he said that the two basic drives that motivate our thoughts and behavior are 1) sex and 2) death, which he sometimes called aggression, go figure. So what runs the show, then? Fear of embarrassment prevails until the age of thirty, followed by the desire to lose weight, and finally, the need to sit down." In LETS BE LESS STUPID, longtime New Yorker staffer and former SNL writer, Patty Marx, employs the weapon she wields best--razor-sharp humor--to tackle what is perhaps the most difficult facet of aging-the decline of the mind. From losing her keys to forgetting her sister-in-law's name, Marx has done it all, and somehow prevailed with friendships in tact. Unrelentingly funny and unexpectedly candid, LET'S BE LESS STUPID speaks to women and men of a certain age, but it will make you laugh at any age. Filled with anecdotes about trying to learn Cherokee, zapping her brain with electricity, taking pills that make her pay attention, and listening to hours of Mozart--all in the service of keeping her mental faculties intact--this is an utterly fresh and original take from one of the smartest comedic writers today. The first woman to be elected to the Harvard Lampoon, Marx is her generation's Nora Ephron. "--

Grandma Moses was old. Methuselah was old. Bob Hope was old. But boomers getting gray hairs and wrinkles? It can't be! Aging has been a normal human condition since the dawn of humankind, but for the boundless boomer bulge hitting its thirties, forties, and fifties, giving aging angst a whole new meaning. In this hilarious book, well-known humor writers Lisa Birnbach, Ann Hodgman, Patricia Marx, and David Owen have brought together countless reasons for their maturing compatriots to look on the bright side of getting older. 1,003 Great Things About Getting Older will convince you that aging isn't so bad. Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00. Your Pineapple Pez Dispenser is worth $900. Chances grow smaller every year that you will die in childbirth. You'll learn about nonagenarians like the Delaney sisters, Henny Youngman, and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., and the secrets of the very old (yogurt, scotch, and pain killers). All in all, the book is a compendium of humor, trivia and real information. 1,003 Great Things About Getting Older is a perfect feel-good gift to raise the spirits of anyone concerned about a few wrinkles or gray hairs.