The third installment in Adam Mansbach's international best-selling Go the Fuck to Sleep series addresses, with radical honesty, the family implosion that occurs when a second child arrives “If you’re a fan of both Larry David and profane children’s book parodies, don’t even try to curb your f*cking enthusiasm.” ―Kirkus Reviews Adam Mansbach famously gave voice to two of parenting’s primal struggles in Go the Fuck to Sleep and You Have to Fucking Eat―the often-imitated, never-duplicated pair of New York Times best sellers that ushered in a new era of radical honesty in humor books for parents. But what could possibly be left? Parents―new, old, expectant, and grand―of multiple children already knew the answer. Adam discovered it for himself by having two more kids, less than two years apart. Fuck, Now There Are Two of You is a loving monologue about the new addition to the family, addressed to a big sibling and shot through with Adam’s trademark profane truth-telling. Gorgeously illustrated and chock-full of unspoken sentiments channeled directly from the brains of parents worldwide, Fuck, Now There Are Two of You articulates all the fears and frustrations attendant to the simple, math-defying fact that two is a million more kids than one. As you probably know by now, you shouldn’t read it to a child. Full color illustrations throughout

Expert mouse dentist Doctor De Soto is called suddenly to Africa to work on the sore tooth of a desperate elephant.

"Jonathan and Barbara Rose are the perfect couple, living the dream in their beautiful house, filled with their precious antiques, their darling children, and their prized Ferrari in the garage. It's all any red-blooded American could possibly want. But when Jonathan experiences a sudden heart attack (or so he thinks) Barbara realizes that she wants a new life, without him. There's just one problem: they both want the house. For husband and wife, it's not just a residence: it's a passion, one that will escalate an ugly divorce into a full-blown battlefield, complete with weapons and casualties. In this viciously black comedy, the Roses will each do whatever they can to destroy their better half--no matter the cost to themselves..." -- Provided by publisher.

The radio humorist and columnist for The Washington Post gathers his funniest and most insightful pieces from the past few years, encompassing such subjects as marriage, children, politics, sports, and the meaning of life. 30,000 first printing.

(Vocal Selections). Fame: The Musical has been dazzling audiences since its debut in 1988. Originally based off the award-winning 1980 movie, then a long-running television series and even a reality show, the musical follows the lives of a group of aspiring entertainers at New York's High School for Performing Arts. Catchy songs and spectacular dance numbers fill the Broadway hit that has now been produced in nearly 25 countries worldwide. All songs include lyrics, melody line, and chord changes with professionally arranged piano accompaniment. Titles: Prologue: Pray I Make P.A. * Hard Work * I Want to Make Magic * There She Goes!/Fame * Let's Play a Love Scene * Mabel's Prayer * Think of Meryl Streep * Dancin' on the Sidewalk * These Are My Children * In L.A. * Let's Play a Love Scene (Duet) * Bring on Tomorrow * Fame.

~ An Anne Izard Storytellers’ Choice Award Winner ~ A Storytelling World Honor Book Once, when young Nasruddin was acting up in class by distracting his friends with endless antics, jests, and stories, his irate teacher uttered a curse: “Whatever you do or say, people will only laugh at you.” Now, eight centuries later, children, adults, and wise fools everywhere are still laughing at Nasruddin (Nasreddin Hoca), one of the world’s most beloved folk characters. This entertaining and insightful retelling of more than a year’s worth of daily Mullah stories brings the famed Persian legend into the Twenty-First Century. Storytellers, folklorists, Sufis, comedians, wisdom seekers, and everyone who loves to laugh will be enriched and enlightened by the timeless wit, inscrutable wisdom, and uncommon sense of humor of Mullah Nasruddin. “Suresha identifies the real strength of Nasruddin’s stories in context to world literature and story performance, that is, its power to build bridges between cultures. … The point of these stories is to speak to the audience in the language and metaphors that are familiar.” — Storytelling, Self, Society “A contemporary reworking of the tales (the stories fit for a general audience, at least) … to Suresha’s credit he has maintained the direct, unadorned style that is a hallmark of folk tales. … a delightful break from the everyday world for an hour or two.” — Green Man Review “A fine pick and very highly recommended.” — Midwest Book Review “These hilarious, and at times, ribald folk tales of the Turkish wise fool take the reader to another time and place, and share the spiritual lessons of Nasruddin. … The teaching stories included in this volume help to build bridges between cultures by exemplifying Arabic wisdom and universal human humor.” — from the Preface by Ann Shapiro, Executive Director, Connecticut Storytelling Center

Presenting a masterpiece from one of America's great satirists. Jules Feiffer has had one of the most varied and illustrious careers of any 20th century cartoonist. For over 40 years he contributed strips to The Village Voice, and has long been a regular contributor to the London Observer and Playboy. An animated cartoon based on his story Munro received an Academy Award in 1961. In the '60s, he branched into theater, writing several plays now regarded as classics: Little Murders; Knock, Knock; The White House Murder Case; Elliot Loves; and The Grown-Ups, to name a few. Originally conceived for the stage, his Carnal Knowledge became one of the landmark films of the '70s. He has written two prose novels, Harry the Rat with Women and Ackroyd, as well as a cartoon novel, Tantrum. In the 1990s, Feiffer embarked on yet another career, this time as a children's book author. He has over a half-dozen to his credit, including modern classics like The Man and the Ceiling. Passionella and Other Stories collects Feiffer's finest extended graphic narratives of the late '50s and early '60s. It opens in full-color with "Excalibur and Rose," the fable of a village comedian who embarks on a crusade in search of his serious side, which he finds in spades when he encounters his true love, the pathologically depressed Rose. The volume's centerpiece, "Passionella," a retelling of Cinderella set in modern Hollywood, concerns a chimney sweep whose fairy godmother transforms her into the "mysterious exotic bewitching temptress" and movie star Passionella. Other stories include "The Lonely Machine," an account of one man's attempt to find the perfect relationship through robot love, and "Harold Swerg," the predicament of the world's greatest athlete who'd rather stay at his mundane job than compete against others, despite his country's desperate pleas to enter the Olympics. Three more classic graphic tales and several entertaining one-act plays round out this handsomely designed hardcover edition.

All the Everyman Chess books are organized in a structured style and are also presented in a series of levels. The styles encompass Openings (O); Games Collections ((G); and Training (T). The levels are arranged as follows: Children [C]; Novice (N); Club (C); and Advanced (A).

With over 120 drawings that poke fun at Boomer parenthood, children, spouses, pets, pseudo-pets, and grandparents, Koren illustrates some pithy, provocative questions that will have you rolling with laughter.

This unique book will help master your problem-solving skills. It contains more than 200 Non-Standard-Problems (NSP), puzzles, and tests, which can be solved by using creative thinking instead of formulas or predefined steps. For most problems, you do not need to know any advanced mathematics or have any specialized knowledge. For a few of the problems that are about the chances of something happening, you might need some limited knowledge about probabilities, provided for your convenience in the Appendix. This book will help you develop and master your critical, "out of the box" thinking. Most problems are new, but some were inspired by well-known problems. The book includes jokes and funny tests that make it enjoyable to read not only for adults but for children as young as 10. It is written in a fashion that is easy to understand. Don't give up quickly, but if you are out of ideas on how to solve particular problems, check out the solutions sections for comments and useful hints. As you work through the book, this will help you solve the next round of problems. Dr. Alexander Tetelbaum is a well-known scientist, inventor, educator, and entrepreneur, who has honed his own problem-solving skills over the years. Natalie Heroux is a well-known industry executive who has wide experience in applying NSP solving to real-life business problems. We wish to express our gratitude to our friend Dr. Theodore Bickart for his constructive input. We want to praise Lauren Bickart for her superb editing of the book.

Unlock the secrets to strategic board play with Edward Lasker's "Chess and Checkers: The Way to Mastership." This classic guide offers insights into both chess and checkers, providing a comprehensive approach to mastering these timeless games. Whether you're a novice seeking to learn the fundamentals or an experienced player aiming to refine your skills, Lasker's expertise will elevate your understanding of strategy and game theory. Delve into the nuances of each game, exploring tactics, planning, and execution. Lasker's clear explanations and instructive examples make complex concepts accessible to all. Discover the principles that underpin successful gameplay and learn how to apply them to both chess and checkers. Perfect for enthusiasts of board games and those seeking to sharpen their strategic thinking, this book is a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their game. This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

Humorist Amy Krouse Rosenthal's hilarious and nail-on-the-head writing has struck again. Her latest book, The Same Phrase Describes My Marriage and My Breasts, spotlights the lighter side of parenting with a sharp wit reminiscent of the late Erma Bombeck, but with a modern twist. Rosenthal reassures parents that the insanity that comes with raising a child is perfectly normal. It is a delightful book for any parent who has realized that stain-free baby clothes and perfectly behaved children only exist on commercials for Kodak and Downy. Rosenthal's endearing collection of humorous anecdotes and reflections is drawn from her illuminating first years as a mother of three. Being a pregnant working mom means occasionally having a urine specimen hidden in your briefcase for your mid-day checkup. No matter how anal you get, no matter how methodically you put away the toys, the Candyland cards end up in the Lego bin, and Lion King puzzle pieces turn up in your shoes. Daylight savings means that on one Sunday, when it's 7:30 A.M., you still have something like 80 more hours until they go to bed. Forget the instructions of Dr. Spock and open your heart to a woman who proudly survives life with three kids-granted not a single glass from her bridal registry remains intact-and relishes being a mom. At times touching, at other times hysterical, The Same Phrase Describes My Marriage and My Breasts is a must for parents who long ago realized that parenting is just like The Brady Bunch if you eliminate the neatly-wrapped solutions and toss in complete unpredictability and random vomiting.

If you loved David and his story, you'll definitely love these activities that he's put together for you! Have a good time as you learn more important lessons from David in a bright and colorful way!

A collection of puns based on animals, including "Lemming meringue pie," "Crocoduel," and "Pupsicle."

Sets and Numbers for the Very Young This boy has two cars with which he hears, One nose that he blows. Two lips with which he sips. Two hands on which he sometimes stands. This girl is on her way to school. Her clothes are clean and neat. She has two hats upon her head. And one shoe on her feet. Ears, lips, hands, feet, fingers, hats, shoes-all come in sets. Many things come in sets. They may be sets of ten or two, one or three or a thousand. A number tells how many. With sets and numbers you learn about adding and taking away, about matching and comparing, about putting together and taking apart, about left and right, about before and after, about counting. Open this book and begin to see all that you can learn from sets and numbers. About the Authors IRVING ADLER, whose book The New Mathematics was the first on its subject for the adult general reader, wrote this book for very young children with his wife Ruth. The holder of a Ph.D. in pure mathematics from Columbia University, Irving Adler was an instructor in math at Columbia as well as at Bennington College and was formerly head of the mathematics department of a New York City public high school. His wife Ruth taught mathematics in public schools In the Greater New York area. Ruth Adler died in 1968, one year prior to the publication of this book by The John Day Company. Irving Adler had 87 titles to his name when he passed away in 2012, at almost 100 years of age. His books were published in 31 countries, in 19 different languages. About the Illustrator PEGGY ADLER is the daughter of Irving and Ruth Adler and author of BearManor's Peggy's Puzzles - Volume One (2023) and Pallenberg Wonder Bears - From The Beginning (2022). Previously, she authored the 2019, award winning pictorial history, Images of America CLINTON (Arcadia) and five books for New York City publishers (The John Day Company & Franklin Watts). Additionally, Ms Adler illustrated two dozen books and provided art for the Bronx Zoo; the Humane Society of the United States; Little, Brown & Company and many others. She also coordinated the 1969 World Premiere of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid for 20th Century Fox and in 1991, served as a consultant to the U.S. House of Representatives' October Surprise Task Force. She's a Marquis Who's Who Albert Nelson Marquis Lifetime Achievement honoree; a 2001 recipient of the Association of Former Intelligence Officers' General Richard G. Stilwell Award; a former police commissioner; and currently chairs the Town of Clinton, Connecticut's Historic District Commission.