Presents the timeless love story between a farm boy named Westley and the beautiful Princess Buttercup, along with the author's comments on life and art as he attempts to edit the children's classic. A tale of true love and high adventure, pirates, princesses, giants, miracles, fencing, and a frightening assortment of wild beasts. William Goldman's modern fantasy classic is a simple, exceptional story about quests--for riches, revenge, power, and, of course, true love--that's thrilling and timeless. Anyone who lived through the 1980s may find it impossible--inconceivable, even--to equate "The Princess Bride" with anything other than the sweet, celluloid romance of Westley and Buttercup, but the film is only a fraction of the ingenious storytelling you'll find in these pages. Rich in character and satire, the novel is set in 1941 and framed cleverly as an "abridged" retelling of a centuries-old tale set in the fabled country of Florin that's home to "Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passions."

Read along with your favorite I Can Read Book characters! I Can Read Books are the premier line of beginning readers encouraging children to learn-and love-to read. Featuring award-winning authors and illustrators, I Can Read Books offer a full spectrum of entertaining stories for every stage of a child’s reading development. Now the beloved characters and adventures from this popular line of books come to life with I Can Read Book and CDs. Each package includes a best-selling beginning-reader storybook and a lively audio recording featuring: Word-for-word narration Music and sound effects One version with turn-the-page signals One version of uninterrupted reading

"Now there's a version, complete with more of the gorgeous, yet weirdly subversive illustrations . . . that you can read to your children . . . The best part? It's still funny. The rhythms, the plodding rhymes, the illustrations, the clever play on the overused trope of the world at bedtime--they all work together to take Seriously, Just Go to Sleep beyond parody and into the realm where good children's books belong: things that parents, and children, can honestly come to from different places and enjoy together. I can imagine reading Seriously, Go to Sleep nightly, and even to the point where you're begging the child to choose something else (the ultimate compliment for a picture book) and yet still finding something to enjoy. It captures a different 'zeitgeist' of modern parenting." --New York Times Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Cortés's updated illustrations (including a cameo appearance by Samuel L. Jackson, who narrated the audio book version of Go the F*** to Sleep) and Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles--a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most important, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. "We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book--read in an altered form--because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we'd do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun."

Goosebumps now on Disney+! IT'S A MATCH MADE IN HORROR!When Slappy, the world's most evil ventriloquist dummy, shows up after being abandoned by his previous owner, things start to go wrong around the house. But this time Slappy may have met his match. There's another bad doll who loves to make a mess of things. Everyone better watch out for this imperfect couple.

Get Goosebumps with the startling repackage of a best selling classic. Now with bonus materials! Two pink flamingos. A whole family of plaster skunks. Joe Burton's dad loves those tacky lawn ornaments. But then he brings home two ugly lawn gnomes. And that's when the trouble starts. Late at night, When everyone's asleep. Someone's creeping in the garden. Whispering nasty things. Smashing melons. Squashing tomatoes. No way two dumb old lawn ornaments could be causing all the trouble? Is there?

New York Times Bestseller A startlingly original debut from the actor, writer, director, and executive producer hailed as “a gifted observer of the human condition and a very funny writer capable of winning that rare thing: unselfconscious, insuppressible laughter” ( The Washington Post ). A boy wins a $100,000 prize in a box of Frosted Flakes—only to discover that claiming the winnings might unravel his family. A woman sets out to seduce motivational speaker Tony Robbins—turning for help to the famed motivator himself. A new arrival in Heaven, overwhelmed with options, procrastinates over a long-ago promise to visit his grandmother. We meet Sophia, the first artificially intelligent being capable of love, who falls for a man who might not be ready for it himself; a vengeance-minded hare, obsessed with scoring a rematch against the tortoise who ruined his life; and post-college friends who try to figure out how to host an intervention in the era of Facebook. Along the way, we learn why wearing a red T-shirt every day is the key to finding love, how February got its name, and why the stock market is sometimes just . . . down. Finding inspiration in questions from the nature of perfection to the icing on carrot cake, One More Thing has at its heart the most human of phenomena: love, fear, hope, ambition, and the inner stirring for the one elusive element just that might make a person complete. Across a dazzling range of subjects, themes, tones, and narrative voices, the many pieces in this collection are like nothing else, but they have one thing in common: they share the playful humor, deep heart, sharp eye, inquisitive mind, and altogether electrifying spirit of a writer with a fierce devotion to the entertainment of the reader.

Wayside School is back in session in this brand-new, fourth installment in the perennially beloved and bestselling series by Newbery Medal-winning author Louis Sachar. Your favorite students and teachers are all here. That includes Sharie, who loves her striped-and-spotted umbrella more than anything; Kathy, who has a bad case of oppositosis; Jason, who has to read the longest book in the world; and the rest of Mrs. Jewls's class on the thirtieth floor, who are busily collecting toenail clippings. Everyone is scrambling to prepare for the all-important Ultimate Test, but meanwhile, there is a mysterious Cloud of Doom looming above them... More than fifteen million readers have laughed at the clever and hilarious stories of Wayside School. So what are you waiting for? Come visit Wayside School! Kids 7 to 13 will zoom through these chapter books--laughing their way through the fast, funny, silly but relatable stories. This funny chapter book series includes: Sideways Stories from Wayside School Wayside School Is Falling Down Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger And now also Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom, the brand-new, fourth installment in the series, and the first in twenty-five years!

Here, in the great tradition of Sylvester and the Magic Pebble and Caleb and Kate , is another tale of magical transformation from William Steig, the creator of Shrek . Its hero, young Solomon, is an ordinary rabbit--well, ordinary in every respect but one. Whenever he scratches his nose and wiggles his toes at exactly the same time, he turns into a rusty nail. To turn back into a rabbit, all he has to do is think: "I'm no nail, I'm a rabbit!" This unusual talent enables Solomon to play some gratifying practical jokes, but it also leads to serious trouble when he's waylaid by a one-eyed cat who plans to turn him into Hasenpfeffer. Solomon promptly becomes a rusty nail and steadfastly refuses to change back, even after Ambrose, the cat, and his wife, Clorinda, lock him up in a cage in their guest room. Sooner or later, they figure, they'll be dining no bunny stew. How can Solomon possibly find a way out of this dilemma? Praise for Solomon the Rusty Nail : “Steig combines a tale of uncanny transformation with his distinctively animated illustrations...Children will love this bizarre tale with its humorous drawings and lively sense of fun.” — Pointer, Kirkus Reviews “Beautifully written and illustrated by paintings reflecting the sunny colors of spring...A classic by a peerless artist.” — Publishers Weekly

"A funny space adventure that spoofs Star Wars while providing an easy-to-read story." — Booklist Brave Commander Toad and the crew of the spaceship Star Warts have a mission: they must go where no spaceship has gone before and bring a little bit of earth out to the alien stars. But when they try to land their sky skimmer on the planet made of water, a terrible sound rises from the waves. Deep Wader is not pleased at being disturbed. "This planet belongs to me," he roars. It looks as though the crew of the Star Warts might become the monster's lunch. Fans of DK Readers: LEGO Star Wars, Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda, and silliness will toad-ally love Commander Toad!

On the first day of school, Artie falls out of his bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy and she says, "You're just worried about your first day in a new school." At breakfast, his little brother, Eddie, splashes syrup in his hair, and there's no time to wash it. Artie has to go to school with syrup-hair. And then, on the way there, he gets splashed by a puddle that makes him look like he wet his pants. It's not just the first day of school; it's the worst day of school. On the second day of school, Artie falls out of bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy and she says, "You're just worried about your first day in a new school." Huh? Today is just like the day before. Can Artie find a way to change it, before it's the first day of school…forever? "A fast and goofy romp" ( Booklist ) that "delivers the hilarity and horror that readers love" ( School Library Journal ), from the master of children's horror, R.L. Stine.

Just when you thought you had it all figured out . . . "Alex Peter Gregory, you are a moron!" Laurie slammed her palms down on my desk and stomped her foot. I get a lot of that.One car crash.One measly little car crash. And suddenly, I'm some kind of convicted felon.My parents are getting divorced, my dad is shacking up with my third-grade teacher, I might be in love with a girl who could kill me with one finger, and now I'm sentenced to babysit some insane old guy.What else could possibly go wrong?This is the story of Alex Gregory, his guitar, his best gal pal Laurie, and the friendship of a lifetime that he never would have expected.

Professor Philip Engstrand loses the love of his life, a particle physicist named Professor Alice Coombs, to an artificially created nothingness she and her colleagues call Lack, a rift in the universe that acts much like nothing

"A funny space adventure that spoofs Star Wars while providing an easy-to-read story." — Booklist When Commander Toad finds a new planet that seems the ideal place for a picnic for his tired crew, he and Lieutenant Lily go down to look around first, only to be swallowed up by giant grapes. Is this the end for the brave crew of the Star Warts ? Or can Doc Peeper, the ship's medical officer, help them escape from the Planet of the Grapes? Fans of DK Readers: LEGO Star Wars, Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda, and silliness will toad-ally love Commander Toad!

"A funny space adventure that spoofs Star Wars while providing an easy-to-read story." — Booklist When Commander Toad and the crew of the Star Warts learn that a disaster has struck and asteroid, they race across the galaxy to the rescue. But it's hard to figure out just what is wrong, especially when there is a language barrier between the Star Warts crew and the pigeon inhabitants of the dis-asteroid. A hero is needed, but is even intrepid Commander Toad brave enough to save the day? Fans of DK Readers: LEGO Star Wars, Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda, and silliness will toad-ally love Commander Toad!

"A funny space adventure that spoofs Star Wars while providing an easy-to-read story." — Booklist It's been a long trip, and Commander Toad and the crew of the Star Warts are bored. They've played all the games and watched all the movies and read all the books on the ship. Suddenly the alarm goes off--pirates are coming aboard, led by Commander Salamander, Scourge of the Skies and Goon of the Galaxies. Is the crew going to have to play his favorite game--Hop the Plank? Fans of DK Readers: LEGO Star Wars, Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda, and silliness will toad-ally love Commander Toad!

"A funny space adventure that spoofs Star Wars while providing an easy-to-read story." — Booklist The Star Warts is on a dangerous mission to an intergalactic spy convention, to find Agent 007½. Not only is he Space Fleet's greatest spy and a master of disguise, but he is also Commander Toad's cousin, Tip Toad. It's essential that no other spy see Agent 007½ without his disguise. Will Commander Toad be able to recognize his cousin in time?. Fans of DK Readers: LEGO Star Wars, Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda, and silliness will toad-ally love Commander Toad!

Goosebumps now on Disney+! Jodie loves visiting her grandparents' farm. Okay, so it's not the most exciting place in the world. Still, Grandpa tells great scary stories. And Grandma's chocolate chip cookies are the best.But this summer the farm has really changed. The cornfields are sparse. Grandma and Grandpa seem worn out. And the single scarecrow has been replaced by twelve evil-looking ones.Then one night Jodie sees something really odd. The scarecrows seem to be moving. Twitching on their stakes. Coming alive . . .

A multicultural story full of heart and hilarity about what it means to be all-American. Lauren and her best friend, Tara, have always done absolutely everything together. So when they don't have any classes together in sixth grade, it's disastrous. The solution? Trying out for the school play. Lauren, who loves to sing, wonders if maybe, just maybe, she will be the star instead of Tara this time.But when the show is cast, Lauren lands in the ensemble, while Tara scores the lead role. Their teacher explains: Lauren just doesn't look the part of the all-American girl. What audience would believe that she, half-Jewish, half-Chinese Lauren, was the everygirl star from Pleasant Valley, USA?From amidst the ensemble, Lauren tries to support her best friend. But when she can't bring herself to sing anymore, her spot in the play and her friendship are in jeopardy. With the help of a button-making business, the music of Patsy Cline, and her two bickering grandmothers, can Lauren find her voice again?Acclaimed coauthors Madelyn Rosenberg and Wendy Wan-Long Shang return to the 1980s world of Sydney Taylor Honor Book This Is Just a Test with this laugh-out-loud coming-of-age story.

Jordan Keppler is looking forward to a nice, quiet day at Carnival World. He may not love the scary rides like his sister, Karla, does, but he'll still go on them with her. But Jordan and Karla are about to experience something much more terrifying. There's a boy in a cage hidden away in a secret part of the park. And he's begging for some food. The sign next to him says "Please do not feed the weirdo". What harm could it do, though? Jordan and Karla are about to find out what it's like to deal with an endless appetite.

With a new baby sister in the house, Frances is feeling quite forgotten. Mother doesn’t have time to iron Frances’s favorite dress, her parents don’t appreciate her new song, and there are no raisins for her oatmeal. So Frances decides to run away, and she does—but not too far. Full of warmth and family love, this new edition of Russell and Lillian Hoban’s beloved classic is perfect for beginning readers.